December 27, 2007

Christmas 2007

Chloe’s Bear


Well another Christmas has been and gone, but I wanted to share with you a present my DH bought for me from my Angel Chloe.  Its in the picture above and on the card it said 'This gift is something to hold everytime you want to think of me, it will bring you warmth and it will give you lots of smiles'.  I think this is the best present ever.

It was a little sad for both of us yesterday, we both kept thinking about bub and how she would be 16 months, probably her first christmas where she would be laughing and giggling and making a mess of the house.  We both miss her so much and would give anything to have her here with us.

December 17, 2007

And the Result is.......

Transfer #10 - Another BFN.

December 11, 2007

oh its been a week already

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One week down and to tell you the truth I haven’t’ even been thinking about the 2ww. Work has been that busy with the Christmas trade that time has flown and there has been a few times that I have had to stop what I was doing and think about the cargo on board. Lets face it after 10 transfers I have tried resting, going to bed early, loosing weight, eating properly, sitting on my arse, not lifting, not stretching, not sneezing, not farting you name it I have tried it, but this cycle its been a free for all. I have worked my arse off at work for a week with no choice of taking it easy but that is my decision for having transfer over the busiest time of the year in my job.

So today I have had AF like pains on and off, could be something could be nothing, sore boobs but as we all know symptoms mean nothing at all anymore.

I got my new car on Friday and she is beautiful, that is my car in the picture but mine is black and I will take a pic of it when I can. It was a sad moment to watch my old baby being driven into the yard I loved her a lot, but I will have another WRX one day that I know!!

December 02, 2007

Been Busy

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I am sorry I have been missing in action but work is so flat out right now that its just scary to think what it will be like the week before christmas. By the time I get home I am buggered.

Now I have a warning............ don't ever use that pro-active shit they advertise on TV. My DH bought me some thinking he was doing a good thing, I applied the testing for 3 days and then on Monday I used it properly for the first time, well by Tues my neck was starting to burn and tingle. Got home from work Tuesday night took one look at my face and it was all lumpy and spotty then twice as bad on Wed. Was washing my hands Wed night and noticed my towels had bleach like spots on them, I asked Nathan if he had used bleach he said no, Thursday I was getting ready for a late start with work and it hit me, it was the proactive which must of had some type of peroxide or something in it. Nathan took it back and get his money back they rung there head office to let them know but unfortunatly thats all they can do as it has a warning it can happen with some skin. Today its uncomfy, the spotty lumps are down my neck and all over my face with some more noticable than others
and a few blisters that came up on my forehead and now lucky me its starting to get itchy. Steer clear!!!

Ok now for some other news. We bought a new Mazda 6 in hatchback today in black, with rear spoiler also tinted windows, car mats, free tank of petrol and 5 yr warrentee on it. The guy had already ordered it during the week and it was in the back of the yard waiting for us to sign, poor guy if we hadn't of gone back, he even rung me twice during the week and on the way up today lol. I am very upset to let go of my WRX and I have already shed a tear but at 10 yrs of age and me currently filling my car up every 2 1/2 days, not to mention it needs a bit of work right now. I begged for a older model WRX but lost the fight not to mention insurance being over $1000 a yr. So I pick it up at the end of the week.

There was something else, mmmmmmmmmmmmm, now what was it........... oh yeah, we transfered 2 embies today one 4 cell and another 6 cell and yet again lost none with thaw which nows leaves us 14 frostie bubs left. It so happened that the same Dr who did transfer last month did this one today too, we managed to speak to her a little bit about how we were thinking about changing over to her. She seemed to be very interested in our loss at 16w and asked lots of questions about it, was a little surprised that we had transfered 19 embies in total and my proticole hadn't changed with each transfer. Nathan thinks she is great so it looks like it will be a visit to her next yr.

Thats it from me, I wont be around much guys but will check in when I can...... who would work in retail at christmas time............ 19 yrs and I still haven't learn't even worse when I have been a manager for 9 of them lol!!

November 28, 2007

On the Road Again

Went for my scan this morning and I have one nice juicey 18mm follie sitting there ready to blow and good lining. My nurse seems to think that because of the size of it I may ovulate a day earlier so transfer could possibly be Thursday (fingers crossed).

I spoke to her about her advice on which FS she would recommend if we wanted to see a new one, she said they are all pretty much of a muchness these days but she would tend to lean to the younger ones which all happen to be female. She also suggested maybe we need to suggest more bloods such as chromosomes testing and maybe mention having another hysteroscopy done which we also had one done and fell pg straight afterwards.
So we're going to get through this cycle and take it from there.

Fingers crossed girls for #10 and I am scared shitless that this is never going to work again!!

November 20, 2007

Thankyou and More....

Thankyou all so much for your replies to my last post, honestly I never expected so many thoughts and wishes and I so love you guys for it.  To my surprise the day we got our BFN my DH said to me that he wants to go again, why surprised you ask (or maybe not lol) it’s because he has never said that before it was me who always pushed to do another cycle.  But we were sitting in our cramped little bedroom at my parents place and he looked me in the eyes and said I want to try again.  I had just automatically thought we would go again next yr as that’s what we all ways do at this time of year but I think he really thought we were pg this time.  So today I am on day 6 of my next cycle with my scan being Monday the 26th am I an idiot thinking that this is going to work one day………. Probably, is there going to be a lot more tears and heartache……….. Defiantly, I am ready to give in yet…….. my head says yes but my heart says NO BLOODY WAY!!!

November 13, 2007

Beta Results......

BFFN


 Hitting double figures........... and you said it shouldn't take long for me to get pg!  Do i get my money back now??

November 07, 2007

Scared

Ok I am scared shitless there is no other word for it and at least I am being honest huh??  All the pains, twangs, twings everything is starting to make its move, it’s sitting there waiting for me to relax a little and then at the right moment it makes its move.  Well you know what enough, just once I want to make it to my blood test day a second time without you showing your ugly head.  

Chloe I know this was the same time I conceived you infact by 2 days and this was your time but would you think about sharing it?  Infact it would been an even more of a special time for all of us, but know you have never and never will be forgotten.

November 04, 2007

First Week Over.........


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Well the first week is over and now the scariest part of the 2ww…..the last week.  This is the week where my fate shows me what is install for us, the week you spend most of your waking life in the toilet but are too scared to go there when you wake up in the morning, where every bit of feeling down there makes your body freeze.



  

E1 & E2 if you’re listening, you have two very loving parents here who want you so badly, with so much love to give that yes you will be spoilt rotten but so well deserved!



  On another note, over half the house was moved out today and put into storage, you can’t yell to loud it echo’s badly lol.  Honestly I am going to miss this place, it was our first house together and as you know my first pregnancy and my first loss of my daughter.  But we’re moving on to bigger and better things and with any luck a great Christmas present to go with it.

November 01, 2007

Day 3/4 post transfer

Had a strange day today.  Thought I would get out of the house for the first time since transfer and go to our local market then off to a scrapbooking shop to get some stuff for DH 40th Birthday Invites, which might I say I have never done before so this will be a first me and yes I will post a pic when I do them lol.Anyway I ended up cutting the trip short and only got to the scrapbooking place.  I had a really uncomfortable feeling almost like I had done a lot of sit ups, you know the day after and the only thing I can put it down too is the 4 progesterone pessaries a day that I am on.  Unfortunately I had to go to the supermarket on the way home to grab some stuff and the heavy basket wasn’t helping.  As soon as I got home I dumped the groceries, got changed into my PJ’s and hit the couch and this is where I have stayed, well except for making dinner.Again this morning there was a small amount of brown but more like a pin head size, bloody pessaries pull everything out of you. 

I love it when DH rubs my tummy when I have had transfer. Tonight we were lying on the bed and he was rubbing my tummy and he does it everynight we can even be laying in the beanbag and he will just lay there with his hand on my tummy.  As I couldn’t sleep DH went to bed and when he said good night he rubbed my tummy and said night E1 & E2 (Embrio),  this time he is treating me like I am pregnant and when we talk over the phone he always asks how the bubs are doing, not to mention he will say “well you are pregnant “…….. Babe I hope your right and thankyou for thinking that way. 

Now progesterone pessaries……….. they would have to be a male invention, only a man could come up with something I have to insert into myself and the ones I have look like a miniature vibrator.  I wake up in the middle of the night feeling it ooze out of me, have to run to the toilet before it hits the sheets and then have to do it in the morning too, lay there for another half hour before I can get up and then continually ooze out for the rest of the day not knowing if its AF or you have sprung a leak.  Us women would of designed something we could eat and chocolate coated at that or at least when you put it into yourself it has a catcher that opens up to catch any run offs. 

We’ll see what tomorrow brings, hopefully another day closer to good news.

Thanks for your comments everyone, the encouragement is very much appreciated and needed!!

October 29, 2007


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 Well I am officially on the 2ww.  I had two lovely and strong 6 & 7 cell embrio's transfered (Dr's words), to our surprise we lost none through thaw.
 
We found out we had 18 frozen not 17 like we first thought, which means my last fresh cycle we ended up with 19 embies. 
 
  The FS we had today was lovely and so gentle, its like she took her time to put them in and not in a hurry like my FS and we have actually decided that if this doesn't work we may make an appointment to see her.  She was amazed though by the numbers I have frozen and said I would have to be up there with the highest amount stored lol.
 
Beta on the 12th Nov.
 
Now I am going to make the most of not doing alot lol.

October 28, 2007

Tomorrow 11am


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Transfer is set for 11am Sunday…….its all happening and I feel ill lol.  I know I am not going to get much sleep tonight but at least it’s later in the morning so it won’t be so hard getting out of bed lol.

October 27, 2007

One Day Closer

I ended up with a surge yesterday so its all go for Sunday!!  I have to ring the clinic tomorrow between 1 & 2 to get my transfer time for Sunday.  A little disappointed as my FS won’t be doing transfer as on weekends you normally get the Dr on duty. 

Funny you know since sitting down here thinking of what to write it’s like OMFG I am going for transfer in 2 days after one year I am going to be a incubator again lol.  Yeah I am worrying again, yes scared stiff and so not trying to think of days 10 – 14 when AF normally shows!  I am going to be positive, I am going to fight the evil negative thoughts……… we need this to work, I so want this to work.  I’m actually feeling ill, like the feeling when you’re going for a job interview or something important, that bottomless sickly feeling.  I am just so glad that I have my first week of my 2ww off so I can just relax and talk to my babies, I’ve never had a full week off before so hopefully its going to help. 

Now packing to move mmmmmmmmmmm, well I’m trying lol, it’s just so hard to know what to keep out and take with us to mums and what to just box up and forget about for 18 months.  I need to get my lazy arse into gear and get this done so its not left till the last minute, like I’ve only had 2 weeks to do it in already and one week of my holidays left lol.  I plan to get a lot done tomorrow so I am not lifting etc next week.My computer is on its way out so we’re off tomorrow to get a new one, I know its bad but we still have some stuff on here that I haven’t’ saved to disk.  Things we have done to remember the loss of our little girl etc……….yes bad girl!!  We need to get it onto the new one before it crashes completely. 

Anyway I will keep you updated.

October 25, 2007

On the Road Again

Long Road



We’re officially cycling again!!!  It is now day 14, yes day 14 (I thought I would wait a while to update just in case lol).  I went for a scan yesterday and my lining was nice and juicy and I had a 15 mm follie sitting on my left ovary, which shows ovulation is about to happen. 

 I was given my OPK and told to start peeing today and I think its about to start  as I had a slight surge.   So I ring my nurse when it happens then transfer is normally 2 – 3 days after that, if I haven’t O’ed by Friday she wants me to go in and have my bloods done just incase as they don’t want to miss it. 

I can’t believe after a years break that as soon as I was in with the nurse all the feelings came flying back again, almost like it was yesterday that we did our last one.  It’s funny how all the negative feelings come back isn’t it, like you have reached the end of your 2ww.  I promised myself that I had to be positive this time I had to give it my all……….I’m going to give it a try but may need so help lol. 

So wish us luck.

October 08, 2007

We have some news....

No news is good news I suppose lol, but honestly there has been nothing happening.  It’s been a year now since we did our last IVF transfer and I must say it feel forever ago too.  On saying that we have some good news…….. this week when AF arrives we will be starting another cycle which will bring it up to transfer number 9, how tiering lol but boy am I excited about it.  I really didn’t think we would get here and do another cycle this year but here we are.I am so relieved that DH wants to still keep trying for a baby I have been dreading the day that we have to stop but I know he wants a baby and that’s all I need to hear from him. 

We have only about 4 weeks left in the house before we move in with my parents.  As much as this is going to be a stressful time for us both with no privacy, not a lot of us times it is going to be good to be looked after again and I know mum will spoil us rotten.  The best thing about it all is that now we are onto the next phase of our new lives, it also means roughly 18 months left until I quit work……..YAY!!!!!!!  I start holidays this Sunday and finish packing everything up. 

Anyway please think good thoughts for us this month, for those that understand IVF just takes away years of your life with each transfer you do.

September 26, 2007

A Special Friend




You know I have a great friend.  We have never met, never chatted on the phone but we both are from an online group and I love her to death.  She has been with me the whole way through the loss of Chloe and afterwards.  She always emails me if I am quiet to see how I am even if she is not 100% herself.  See this good friend also lost a baby but he was almost full term which I could never imagine and hope I never have to go through. 

In the mail today was a large envelop and inside was a letter and a picture of a little girl Angel with a poem on it.  This person sent it to us because that’s how she pictured how our baby girl would look like and I thank her from the bottom of our hearts as I know some people feel that I should of moved on by now and she understands completely.   

I have had many friends through my ttcing times and IVF times, some show you support to begin with, they say hi every once and a while and think its ok, but B you have been there from day one and are still kicking my arse and I love ya for it.

September 20, 2007

Humans are Amazing sometimes.....amazingly selfish


Wow I have been slack haven’t I, thanks Jules for reminding me hee hee. Honestly not much is happening with me, I have been in a central place for a few weeks now which I think is good, no tears, no depression just complacent.  Although it could be a sign of a bang to come.

A few things have made me a little upset this week.  First was the dumping of a 3 yr old Chinese girl at the Melbourne railway station, where its now turned out the father dumped her there then went to the airport and caught a flight to America that same day.  Today they found the mothers body in the boot of a car in New Zealand.  There was a history of domestic violence and him being a martial arts expert.  That poor child to be dumped in a different country and left alone in a public place for any sicko to take her, I wouldn’t of thought twice to take her in she is just so gorgeous.  Her grandmother is on her way over from China to take her back to live with them and her extended family. 

Then today there was a article in the paper about 2 Lesbians who are suing a Dr because she had two embrio’s transferred and she only wanted one and ended up with twins. 

A LESBIAN mother demanding compensation for having IVF twins instead of one child has lost her capacity to love, her partner told a court today.

In the first case of its kind in Australia, the couple is suing prominent Canberra obstetrician Dr Sydney Robert Armellin for more than $400,000 in the ACT Supreme Court for implanting two embryos instead of the requested one.The birth mother's partner told the court today at times she felt their relationship would not survive the stress after learning they were to have twins. "My observation is that (the twins' birth mother) was one of the most confident and centred people that I have met," she said.

She described her partner as being an extremely generous and loving person before she fell pregnant.

"She (the twins' birth mother) always said that she had a big heart filled with love," the woman said, weeping.

"I find (now) that she doesn't have the same ability to love that she used to and the same capacity to, I guess, embrace differences and issues as a couple or as a team."

She said the pair lost their lives functioning as a couple, becoming mired in everyday tasks associated with raising two children.

The IVF procedure, which used sperm from a Danish donor, resulted in the birth of twin girls, now aged three. The couple, whose combined income is almost $120,000, want $398,000 to cover the costs of raising one of the girls, including fees for a private Steiner school in Melbourne. They are also seeking around $15,000 to compensate them for time off work, and an additional amount for medical expenses. Dr Armellin's barrister Kim Burke said the pair's loss of their lives as a couple was commonly experienced by parents across Australia. "I suggest to you you have described the situation nearly every couple in Australia suffers in the circumstances where they are no longer in a single relationship with each other but they've the burden of a child or children." The civil hearing before Justice Annabelle Bennett continues. 

Don’t even get me started on this because I will never stop but you ungreatful heartless bitches, how dare you use these two gifts as use to get money and free loading and WTF sending the kids to private school, who the hell said you had to do that. Maybe they should put both girls up for adoption. At least the twins would know that the adoptive parents want them both.  I’m sorry but this is just devistating and just so fucking selfish and I hope to god that this gets thrown out, they have a hugh court cost, realise how fucking they are and karma bites them on the fat arse.

Well not long now to hopefully cycleing again, fingers crossed I am going to try my luck with hubby and see if we can go next month as I will ovulate whilst on holidays which would be perfect, I have always been at work straight after a transfer and would just like to see how I go resting.

Well that’s about it for now, if anything happens I promise I will update.

September 07, 2007

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Sorry Guys I am around but not much to report right now........... I suppose thats a good thing lol.

August 28, 2007

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

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Survived the dentist today but that’s because I had nothing done arggggggggg.  Now tomorrow is a different story……. Infact $500 different story!!!  Today he did an xray and a poke around and then told me the good news.  

The abscess is only on the gum……phew, gave me some antibiotics but then told me the bad news.  The tooth near the abscess needs a filling, it already has one but the bit on the tooth that hasn’t got it now needs to be filled, which means drilling out the old and putting in a longer new one…….$205.  Then one of my wisdom teeth has a big hole……$170 and last but not least another wisdom needs a little fill……$140. All this will be done tomorrow as its all on the one side.   

Now next time he wants both wisdoms on the other side filled as well plus a cleaning of the tooth which will cost $150, that must be some very expensive tooth paste!!  He did say eventually the wisdoms will have to come out but not urgent right now, so thank F*** we are thinking about getting health insurance.  Maybe if I ever need another egg retrival they can do me a double wammy and have one Dr at one end and one Dr at the other and they can both rip the suckers out of there!!!

August 27, 2007

Noooooooooooooooooo

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This is me tomorrow............... wish me good luck!!

August 19, 2007

Some Happy News for ME






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Well I think I have some good news, no not that type of good news ( I wish)!!!  Hubby and I were talking the other day and we have made a deal……..hmmmmmmmmmmm you say.  Well as you know I am on the last bit of my weight loss quest and have become a little slack on that front.  So hubby told me if I lose another 5kg then we will go for our next FET YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!  He knows how much I want to budge this weight and this is my incentive to get rid of it so hey I am all for it.  I know some of you make think it’s a pretty poor reason to let me do my next transfer but I really am unhappy with not losing everything I promised myself earlier this year and the weight I did lose bought my cycles from 60 plus days to 32 days so I know it was the right choice.

So come on guys I need you to kick me arse and make sure I am doing this.



Also my hubby has said I can get a new car once settlement for the house has gone through so more YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!  I am going to miss my WRX she has been my baby but I am moving on to a Mazda 3 Black.  No we’re not made of money but we feel while we are living with my parents and saving some money we might as well get it now instead of when I have given up work and moved into our home once its built.  So we will trade my car in for a newbie!!


Car car2 car3 Finally I have some movement in my life.

August 14, 2007

Thinking of you Bree & Tyler

Boy



Can you please keep in your thoughts a friend of mine on one of my online groups Bree.  She gave birth to Tyler on the 7th at 24 weeks.  He is doing very well considering how old he is and today has only gone on ventilation but only a small amount.Poor Bree ended up with an infection in her uterus which ended up in a slow leak of her waters, which she knew nothing about. Sweety we are all thinking of you and Tyler right now and praying he gets through this.

August 13, 2007

It Found Me


Flu 



It’s the last month of winter and I thought I had escaped it……….but it found me.  Sore throat, headache, stuffy none, stuffed sinus need I say more. 

  This year has been the worst ever for the flu, nearly every second person has got it or had it, a 5 yr old died this week of Influenza A then a day later a man of 3 children in his 30’s also passed away.  I thought because I had already had a cold 3 times during summer that I would of escaped it but no. 

See I had my toncils out when I was 21 because I have had toncilitise since I was a baby, but ever since they have come out I have had it worse than ever, so if anyone has a spare set I would very much appreciate them.

August 09, 2007

These Days - powderfinger





This is one of my favorite songs, its not so much the film clip its the words. Life you just never know whats around the corner.

August 07, 2007

Personality Test

Click to view my Personality Profile page


 














INFP - The "Dreamer"


Myers-Briggs Personality Types (Free Test)

INFPs are introspective, private, creative and highly idealistic individuals that have a constant desire to be on a meaningful path. They are driven by their values and seek peace. Empathetic and compassionate, they want to help others and humanity as a whole. INFPs are imaginitive, artistic and often have a talent for language and writing. They can also be described as easygoing, selfless, guarded, adaptable, patient and loyal.

August 05, 2007

Lost a Blogger

If anyone could help me out pls??  I love to read http://babybluebabbles.blogspot.com/  but it looks like it has been changed to invited readers.  If anyone could contact her to let her know that I would love to stay as a reader I would very much appriciate it.

August 01, 2007

Another Quest

Weight

Well as you can see I have started back on one of my other quests.  I will keep you updated!!

July 26, 2007

Happy Birthday Angel Girl

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July 23, 2007

23rd July Would be Your First Birthday.

Angel

Happy Birthday Angel
As we wake up in the morning
And you're not here to see,
We grasp for some reality...
That our dreams will never be.
We'll bake a cake and buy balloons,
We'll burn a candle too.
We'll play your music and look at pictures,
And shed some tears for you.
We'll imagine what this day would bring,
If only you weren't gone.
You'd run and laugh and jump about,
We'd sing the birthday song.
You should be here today,
Excited as can be...
Sifting through toys and wrap,
Bursting forth with glee....
But God had other plans for you,
These plans we'll never know.
Today the candle burns,
With no tiny lips to blow.
So on this day my precious daughter,
Your birthday number one.....
You're in our thoughts and in our hearts
...as we send to you our love.

 

~Chloe~ this should be your 1st Birthday, but yes there were other plans for you, it's something we can never get use to. We hope you have a great day and know we are thinking of you all ways.

You never said you were leaving
You never said goodbye
You were gone before I knew it,
And only God knew why.
A million times I needed you,
A million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you,
You never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly
In death I love you still
In my heart you hold a place,
That nobody could ever fill.
It broke my heart to lose you,
But you didn't go alone
For part of me went with you,
The day God took you home
-Unknown 


We love you Baby Girl forever in our hearts.
Lots of Love
Mummy & Daddy
(Shazz & Nathan)
xx

July 22, 2007





IVF

I have just bought this book:

 IVF & Ever After 

IVF & Ever After: The emotional needs of Families
By Nicola Bedos
IVF and Ever After focuses on IVF treatment, its effects on families and relationships, and how to minimise the stress it causes.A groundbreaking work — no other book deals with the emotional experiences involved in IVF treatment and bringing up an IVF child.
• IVF clinics are overflowing with new patients and have little room for the ‘personal touch’
• 41,000 IVF cycles currently begin in Australia annually
• 10,000 IVF babies will be born this year (4 per cent of all births in 2007)
• 1 in 6 Australian couples experience infertility (80 million couples worldwide)
• This book is for couples thinking about IVF treatment, those undergoing treatment, and IVF parents who are experiencing emotional ‘lows’ without knowing why
• It is also an invaluable guide for health professionals working with IVF families

IVF births make up a highly significant part of Australia’s fertility rate. The current overall success rate of IVF in
Australia is approaching 25 per cent — twice what it was twenty years ago. Experts predict that we will approach a figure of 30 IVF births per 100 births by around 2030.IVF mothers are three times more likely to attend early parenting centres for help. IVF clinicians are now emphasising to parents that stress plays a sizeable role in treatment success. Research has shown that women undergoing treatment for infertility have a similar level of stress as women dealing with life-threatening illnesses, such as cancer or heart disease.IVF and Ever After discusses the latest international research, bringing together the most up-to-date information for parents. It moves beyond the ‘here and now’ to look at issues families and practitioners rarely consider, such as telling a child about IVF conception, what to do with spare frozen embryos, and the implications of legislation to make surrogacy easier.

This is also an essential read for any health professional involved with IVF, who rarely see how families cope away from the clinic, and it will be invaluable for GPs, who are seeing more and more patients who have been affected by IVF.

 I have no idea what it is going to be like as I am not a reader and find it hard to read anything like this if the writer has not been through it themselves.  BUT, I have a friend who contributed to this book who is a mummy of 2 sets of IVF bubs and she assures me it’s worth the read.   This book was released on July the 1st and has sold out just about everywhere, so if you like I will let you know what its like and whether its worth it.


 



July 16, 2007

Virtual World Tour Day

Hi and Welcome to the Virtual World Tour day.  The Impatient Patient has suggested a day where we all post about where we come from.  I think its a great idea to learn a little more about each other.

 I come from Mornington, which is located on the Mornington Peninsula, Victoria, Australia.  The whole peninsula has a population of over 147000 people.  We are located at the bottom end of Melbourne which becomes a tourist Mecca at Christmas time to Easter which is Summer time here.  The tourists camp on the beach in caravans and create havoc for the locals as they tend to take over lol.

We have lived here for most of my life but we have just sold and in the next yr or so we are moving to the country.  Mornington is known for its cafe's, wineries, and social events.  At one end of the peninsula called Portsea is well known for the very rich area with houses worth Millions of dollars.  We are beach and country rolled into one.

Ready to go??

Map 2Map

Map of the Mornington Peninsula, Victoria, Australia.

Mornington Yacht Club

Mornington Yacht Club

Bathing Boxs

Bathing Boxes from Schanpper Point to Scout Beach.

Main St

Main St

Boat Ramp

Boat Ramp.

Grand Hotel

Grand Hotel

Royal Hotel

Royal Hotel opposite beach and packed during summer.

Village Shopping Centre

Inside the Village Shopping Centre.

Cafe’s

Cafe's Along Main St

Old Post Office

Old Post Office.

Nepean Hwy

Nepean Hwy.

Winery Winery2 Food

Wineries.  We have lots of them on the peninsula, very big tourist industry and export industry as well.

Seals Wildlife

Seals - Lots of them and other willife here.

Surfing

The Peninsula is well known for its Surfing.

Beach

Our Beach.

RWH

This is the Royal Womens hospital and also part of Melbourne IVF where 17 of my Frostie Bubs are living.

Our Backyard

Our back yard.

Hope you enjoyed my tour of where I live and love.

July 10, 2007

I Would Die For That





Such a Beautiful & Powerful song on Infertility. You will need tissues!

July 08, 2007

Todays News!!

BeanBeanBean

WE SOLD THE HOUSE!!!

 



June 30, 2007

Brain




Can someone please turn my brain off…………it hurts too much.

June 25, 2007

I was waiting for that bolt of lightning!!

Lightning



Well to say we are on a down today would be an understatement.  We had only one bidder there yesterday and if I could punch the living shit out of our agent I would today.  He told us he had 8 bidders lined up for the day and only one showed.  There was a lady sitting in her car who was interested but she wouldn't bid, so the agent told her the bidders get first offer. 

After the house was pasted in we had an offer made but not enough.  We have now dropped $20000 off the price we wanted and its now officially for sale.  Our agent will ring the interested parties who made offers of $10000 less than what we want.  We now have to bite the bullet and if we sell for this price walk out with still owing on our morgage.   As hubby is a numbers man he worked it out it can take us 8 months to pay that off living with my parents.   

Now the selfish side is about to come out but one of my thoughts were IVF and how the frigg are we going to afford it now, so hubby has promised me his phone payment he gets back from his work will go towards it $600 and I already have a hundred saved from ebay in there.  He has told me that the money will be there for ivf when we sell and told me remember that when we move that we wont have electricity bills etc, but you still have this feeling there is always going to be something that will be thrown at you so you can’t do another cycle.  So now it means ivf will happen when ever.  And I tell ya if one more person says to me that I still have plenty of time I will punch the living shit out of them 5 times over, I am 36 and in IVF years I am heading towards the end. Sorry, but just a little flat, we knew things were going too well for us and waiting for the kick in the gutts to happen.............. So there is one for the non sale of the house and the other is ivf has gone from next month to fuck knows when.

June 14, 2007

Just Bits



Thankyou for all those that replied to my last post.  I am feeling better but just having more moments than normal.  The only thing I can work it out to be is

A)    I am ready to cycle

B)     It would be me Angel Girls 1st Birthday next month. 

I have started at the new store and so far I am loving it, the staff are so friendly and I have more of them than the last store which is making my life easier.  Getting home to see the news at night is fantastic.We have only 10 days till the auction and I am really starting to get nervous.  I was sitting in the back room the other night and it occurred to me that this may not be my home in a few months.  We have been through a bit here, including my pg, then the loss of it, we got married and it was our first home.   But hey things can only get better…….. well can’t it……..well………LOL.

June 06, 2007

Struggling

I honestly thought I was doing ok, enjoying my break from ttcing, eating, drinking etc .............BUT...........tonight hubby got home and told me he saw the lady across the road getting out of her car and she was heavily pg. We don't even talk to them let alone knowing she was pg but for some dam reason it has gutted me. All of a sudden I was just so dam depressed and have been teary all night. I just keep thinking why don't I deserve a baby, what have I done so dam wrong??? I use to think that I was being punished for taking my hubby away from his first marriage, from his children and even though his marriage was over I always felt like I was being punished, that it was my fault, yet these people across the road are in exactly the same boat as us, he too is divorced and has 2 children and now she is pregnant, sooooooooo.......Am I too selfish, am I too bitchy, am I not good enough, won't I make a good mother, just tell me so I can deal with this better. To go through 3 yrs of IVF, needles apon needles, pills, creams, inserting things, blood tests, 8 transfers, one early miscarriage, one loss of a daughter at 16w............hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, maybe I haven't been through enough yet???

June 01, 2007

Another Start..... its a good one.

                                                                                      Floral




The house viewing is going well, we have had one offer which wasn’t enough but apparently their going to try again.  I can’t believe its only 3 weeks away till the auction.  I got some good news on Monday.  I have been transferred to another store with work and after 3 yrs of being there I can say I am quiet happy!!  I have currently been a Manager in this store for over 3yrs which is the longest time out of the all the 5 stores I have worked in.  My travelling time now goes from nearly one hour one way to 15 minutes.  I received a nice little pay rise to go with it and knowing that this will be the last store I will ever work in before I quit is the best feeling.  Now just settling in, getting to know my 30 plus staff not to mention the other 100 plus staff that work for the other managers.   I was becoming so stale and board.IVF is getting closer I can feel it and as much as I haven’t been thinking about it for 6 months I am feeling the slight niggling.  I can feel good things are happening for us right now which makes me feel that maybe we are ready to go soon, but as usual with us I learn never to get to excited about things going our way as the bitch slapping elf must be somewhere hiding!!