August 31, 2006


One of my dear friends lost another Angel this week can you pls stop by Sweety I love you heaps and I am so sorry that yet again you have to go through more shit within your life and I am sending love to both of you. You know where I am if you need me.

August 27, 2006

Thanks Girls

I just want to thank all my Blog friends and my new Blog friends for all your comments and support through my last mental breakdown lol. I'm trying to deal with things again and getting through this week as I go on 2 weeks holidays at the end of this week. I'm not going anywhere but spending 2 fantastic weeks just being a house wife and taking everyday as it comes.The person who I was refering to and I have had a good chat and we have sorted out a few things and have agreed for it to be over with. I still love her to death.

Well if I knew I could get pg naturally I would of done a pee test 10 times over by now lol. Still no sign of AF, I think she's gone on holidays without me to some tropical island somewhere just to rub it in more, I keep going to the post box expecting a postcard from her.For those who don't know, we are going back for a Fresh IVF transfer, infact our 8th transfer. I know hubby didn't want me to tell anyone but you guys are my Blog family so shhhhhhhhhhh lol. I tell ya I am tierd thinking about going on the pill for 3 weeks and sniffing the shiteral that gives me a headache or 5 and then the needles.....lets not go there lol.
So again thanks girls you made me feel so much better.

August 13, 2006

Over IT!

I'm over it, over everything, over people that say they are you friends and that they will always be there for you and just don't seem to be. If I had of written this about 30 mins ago I would of been totaly hysterical but hubby calmed me down, but he's not here he had to do it on the phone. I'm tierd of this struggle and it seems like a struggle for life sometimes, I'm over this struggle of infertility, the feeling of being left behind and you just feel so alone. If I didnt have my husband I dont know where I would be right now.

I had one friend that hurt me badly and I will never forget it but she doesnt even think about it and acts like everything is normal. When I found out I was pregnant she spoke to me often even on the phone although we had never met, she was also preg, as soon as I lost my little girl nothing, the occational message through messenger and now since having her child hardly anything and you know what....... I thought I meant more to her than this, maybe I was wrong.

My husband always said to me that I need to make more friends, but this is the reason I stopped making them!! I use to have alot of friends but have so learnt that if their not back stabbing you, their telling you their problems but when you really need a where to be seen. I don't expect their worlds to stop because of me but just a HI would be nice.

I'm over it and I've had enough, stop the world I'm ready to get off!!

August 09, 2006

Thought I should get my act together and post. Nothing exciting is happening right now, I've had a few downer days lately just anxous to start IVF again. There have been so many babies born and pg's announced lately its just getting to me and knowing that we should have out little girl right now just hurts.

This cycle will be our 8th transfer or 4th stimulated cycle and I must say that never in my wildest dreams did I think that we would still be going. Your RE says 'I can't see a problem with you getting pg', so why is it taking so long.
I get so angry when I hear of what people have dont to there children, like a guy on the news today put a infant in a dryer cause he thought it would be what the fuck!!! Here there are women who would do anything to have a child then you hear of morons like this.......arrrrrggggggggggggggggg!!!