February 26, 2007

Well yet again there is a surge of pg announcements around me right now, with each one another knife goes into my heart just to remind me that I’m still waiting for mine.  Yes I have been blessed being pg even if it was for only 16 weeks and I tell you I would not of given those 16 weeks up for anything.  One thing I do regret is at 12 weeks when I had growing pains I burst into tears and said to hubby that I would not give this up for anything but I am over it, I think too because I had had night sickness for 4 weeks it wasn’t helping. 

I really don’t know where the future will take us, I know where I would like it to take us hoping that one of the 17 embrio’s we have frozen will be our living child but I can’t be certain.  I am 36 next month and scared stiff that it’s almost “time up” and how do you tell yourself that, how do you come to terms with it.  I so admire all the women that have made that choice, the gut wrenching choice to stop with their dreams. 

Friendship………it’s a funny thing, you think you have it then maybe not, then look it maybe there again but oh no the drift happens again.  Its not anyone’s fault its just people take a different turn in the road at certain points and as friends we need to respect that.  But you do tend to miss the old times, the laughs, the good and the bad times.  Just feeling a bit alone right now, think I am the one that’s been left behind probably my own fault. 

Its nearly been 4 weeks since starting lite n easy and I have lost 3.5kg with only 8.5 to go!!


February 08, 2007

Happy 1st Birthday Angel


To Our Beautiful Chloe,Happy 1st Birthday Angel, we hope you got your balloons we sent you today.
Today was the first day a year a go we got to see and hold you for the first time, but it was also the last. Even though you weren’t ready to face the world just yet you were perfect in every way, with your daddy’s top lip, your little arms across your chest like you knew. Even the Dr commented that he had never seen a baby come out with there arms placed across like that, but that’s you, so much like your mummy just like to do things differently. We put a little note to you in the paper today and mean every word of it. We hope you have had a enjoyable day today sweetheat with all your other Angel friends, your great poppies and your great nanna, not to mention Taliga…..she is a good dog but make sure she doesnt eat to much! We wish we could just spend another day with you but know we will one day.
We will love you forever
Mummy & Daddy