July 30, 2006

Happy Birthday Lis

To one of my Dear and Long Time Friends Lis, I want to wish you a very Happy Birthday for today and I hope you got spoilt rotton. You have been through so much over the past 18 months you deserve a great day, give Trent a Huge Cuddle.

July 26, 2006


I just wanted to wish one of my dearest friends MA good luck for today with Egg pickup!! Thinking of you sweety and hope you get some nice juicey ones. xx

July 23, 2006

Your Day

To Our Angel Chloe,

Today was your Due Date, we were to hold you in our arms but it was not to be but we want you to know that mummy & daddy love you so much that words can't describe. You were our 6 IVF transfer, our miracle, the one that was going to be spoilt for the rest of your life. When I hade you at 16 weeks you were perfect, little fingers with your little finger nails, you had your daddy's top lip, you were born with your arms crossed over your chest and just looked so peaceful. We held you for a while, cuddled you, kissed you and cried over you and didnt' want to give back. We just want you to know you will be with us forever and nothing will change that.

~Chloe Jade~ In Our Hearts Forever Our Little Girl.

Lots of Love Mummy & Daddy.

July 22, 2006

The Day Before

Well I tried to hold it together today but not to be. My Angels due date is tomorrow and I so long to hold her again. I just so hate right now, I feel like my heart has just been thrown against a wall several times then run over. As much as I keep going on about it, I still can't believe that all this has happened and that I will wake up and it will all be over, I still feel like I'm about 12 weeks preg and all is well.
I just hopes she knows how much we both love her and would do anything to have her here with us right now.

July 18, 2006

Arggggggggg Day

We only have 5 days till our Angel ~Chloe's~ due date and I miss her so much, I'm still holding out and haven't really thought about it yet but I know Sunday is going to be a tough one. I almost don't want it to come as I know the counting is over and another piece of her is gone.

On the IVF front, I don't know whats going to happen. The bills wont stop coming in and you see another cycle go out the window, I just don't see us getting on top of things at all to get the money we need. If I need to I will get extra work for when I'm not at my normal job to pay for it. My age is starting to worry me and before you say anything for those who don't know about IVF, 35 is getting oldish. These are some rates of pregnancy with ivf:

35 - 37 - 26% off getting pg

38 - 40 - 17.9% of getting pg

As has been noted consistently around the world, the success starts dropping at about age 35 and drops ever more steeply after that. It is rare for women aged 45 or older to have a baby from IVF using her own eggs.

So yes I am a little worried but more than anything I just want to be pregnant and have my own little bundle of joy, and I want to be a mum.....I promise I will never ask for anything again if I could only have my happy times.

July 17, 2006

Just realised that I hadn't posted for a week, bad me!! Well sorry but you'll have to wait till tomorrow night lol as I worked late tonight and am tierd...... Sorry xxx.

July 10, 2006

I don't want to sound nasty, I truely don't but I just don't know how much more I can take with hearing about these women who go for one or two IVF cycles and fall pg. There are so many pg being announced right now and I feel like I want to cry everytime, I should be getting ready to hold my little girl in less than two weeks and now I have to go through all this hell again.
I don't even know how to write here tonight, its like its all pushing against my chest and it won't let me release it. Its a really hurting feeling if that makes sence, I just want to be pregnant again, I miss the feeling although I was only pg for 16 weeks but I want to experience all of it. I want to feel that little human life inside of me, feeling it grow and me giving it life............ I just feel like I am being punished.

A friend sent me a very special gift today. It is a candle with my Angels name and birth date on it and a very special poem on the back. I will post a pick later of it..............Thankyou B & S.

July 04, 2006

To The People in My Life

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for thatPerson... When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is Usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for a reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on. Sometimes people come to your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy
BELIEVE it, it is REAL. But only for a season. LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must buildUpon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.