It's been sooooooooooooooo long!

I am so excited!! After all these years I finally got back into my Blog. I have been locked out for so long with no help on how to get in. How so much has changed!

Bitsa post

Do you ever just feel tired and it's not the I need sleep tired, you just tired.  Well that's how I'm feeling right now and the answers when I tell people are you just need to go to bed early. I'm wondering if it's just that time of year as my skin has also gone very dry, my nails are all spliting and my hair has gone like straw.  You really wouldn't think that autumn would do that more so summer but I guess our bodies just go through so much during summer it has to fall in a heap sometimes.  Well jsut thought I would share that with you lol.

The little man went to playgroup today and for the majority of it he open and closed cupboard doors!  I'm told it's normal for his age but I am scratching my head as to what the fun of it is, especially when they jam fingers then go back for more.  I'm going to ask him when his older but I'm sure he will look at me like an idiot lmao.  He also did some drawing although I call it dot to dot as he hasn't quiet mastered how to hold the crayons, but it's his first picture up on the fridge.....awwwwwwwwwwwww hee hee.

My friend goes for her beta in a couple of days so fingers crossed guys!!

Sorry it's pretty non eventful post today my brain left me about 2 hours ago when my son still hadn't had his sleep lol, hoping it returs tomorrow!

What's been happening??

 I have been MIA from mmy Blog for a while which I explained in my last post....so whats been happening in that time.....

Well we thought for some silly reason that we were pregnant as I was over 2 weeks late.  I have PCOS so my cycles were all over the place but since loosing weight (17kg or 37lb), they started to become regular but for some reason this one went on vacation for a while.  I have no idea why I would even think I could fall pg naturally, there would be more chance of it raining money before that happened.  It actually hit me a little bit to the point I said to hubby it felt like a BFN from a IVF cycle and they hurt.  I don't think it's helping that I am so craving another child and just don't think it's going to happen, I think its being pushed into please don't ask me because I don't want to say no to you as I know all the crying etc your going to go through pile. So I think I'm not asking him so I don't have to start the grieving process iykwim.

My baby boy started normal playgroup.  He has been attending premmie playgroup once a month but since the fires here there was no where I could take him and now the school has been rebuilt they are catering for playgroup.  So every Tuesday morning he goes.  Last week was his first day and I think he was a little overwhelmed at all the other little people around.  It took him a bit of time to relax and walk around himself but still being under 2 there's not really alot they can do for themselves yet and all he wanted to do was open and close doors.  I am still trying to work out what that fasination is no matter how many times the fingers are jammed!!

And talking about my baby boy I can't believe he is 21m or 17 1/2m corrected.....where the heck did that time go, I mean its only just feels like we just got him home from his 153 days in NICU.  The terrible 2's have started and I have sussed him out now and know when to just ignore it or put a stop to it.  My favorite thing is the tantrums on the floor, I have nearly wet myself laughing several times.

This is him playing on the bifold doors, he's inside and I'm out....he wasn't happy lol.  I just love him to death and am so glad he was sent to me.

As I mentioned I have lost more weight and I am the happiest I have been in along time.  I am wearing nearly 3 sizes smaller than what I was on the bottom and 3 szs smaller on the top.  I am a little disappointed with this winters fashion as it seems like the clothes are meant to be non fitting and baggy and when you have been wearing clothes like that for most of your life to hide the fat, the last thing you want is not to be able to show off what you have lost.  And in saying that this season fashion sux bigtime!!  One thing I got very exciting about though is I finally could fit into knee high boots of the shelf instead of having to find and pay through the nose for big calved ones!!  Only a big calved woman can understand how that would feel.

Finally this area is starting to get some colour back after the bushfires.

I love this time of year and this was one of the reasons we moved up here.  The whole town use to have these beautiful Autuum colours.  They are very slowely returning but it won't ever be seen the same again in my life time but I know it will return.

So that's about it for now, if I think of anything else I missed which knowing me I will off, I will post tomorrow.

Welcome to ICLW May

Hi and Welcome to my Blog.  Sorry I have been MIA for a while as I have been helping a friend do up her forum I am part of admin on.  Also my baby boy is getting older by the second and I'm not coping knowing he is going to be 2 soon and has started playgroup.
So here is a little about me and I look forward to reading about you :-)

A little about me is I am 39 and live in Australia, infact in one of the Black Saturday Bushfire effected area's. Married to a special man and I say that because he puts up with me lol. I also have a beautiful son whom survived being born at 25w.



I am infertile, I have PCOS and crushed tubes from scar tissue that has grown around my tubes thanks to a Dr that misdiagnosed my burst appendix when I was 16, so when we started trying to have children in my early 30's we had no idea why I couldn't conceive. After a laperoscopy where they knicked my bowel so 6 days in hospital and a month off work it was found I needed IVF and would never conceive naturally. My FS (fertility spec) told me he couldn't see why we couldn't conceive almost straight away. First cycle a BFN, 2nd empty sac but readings kept rising, D&C at 7w on our first wedding anniversary. Third, 4th & 5th all BFN, 6th BFP waters broke at 14w 5d, induced at 16w 2d gave birth to our beautiful girl ~Chloe~. Seventh, 8th, 9th & 10th BFN and after that we changed FS to someome that would do something different and listen to what we had to say.... she got us PG first go. Hospitalised at 18w due to bulging membranes, emergency stitch put in, stayed in hospital for 7w, waters leaking from 19 1/2w....great now I also have to contend with an incompetent cervix.


After continually being told I will loose him, I will go into labour etc I held him in till I had cord prolapse at 25w and had an emergency c-section. He spent 153 days in NICU & SCN, with collapsed lungs, pneumonia, infections, a machine breathing for him for 7 weeks and we were called in twice to say goodbye. When he came home he was on oxygen but being the determined boy he was he stayed on it 9 months instead of the 2 yrs like his Dr's said.
So now he is 21m or 17 1/2m corrected and you would never know he is a preemie. The 7 years of trying was so worth it, he is just a beautiful child that has alot of his great grandfathers facial expressions and heart (he never got to meet him).


We have 8 frostie bubs still sitting there and I am so itching to go back and try again but I know hubby isn't to fond about the whole idea as he said he could never go through the NICU experience again. So what the future holds I have no idea but I am going to cherish every moment of my son growing up incase I never get to experience it again. And if I do never get to experience it again then I have alot of emotions to start dealing with, including the mourning of 8 embrios.

Infertility has left scars on my life so please don't think I am over it because I have a child. My blog contains everyday ramblings, could be about M vomitting and me being a bad mother and letting him sleep in his smelly clothes then him paying me back, could be about my weightloss, or the new pup we have that pees and craps in the house after I have just taken him outside to go and even revisiting my past.


I am looking forward to hopefully meeting some new bloggers and would love to support those who are starting IVF or even those who have been ttcing for a long time, so come out, come out where ever you are!!

MIA

I've had alot on lately but will be back to Blog land tomorrow and do a catch up!

New Blog for Preemie Bloggers - pls pass the word!

I struggle to find preemie/premmie Blogs, so I have decided to do another blog called (for now lol) Preemie Bloggers.....original huh.  So if anyone reads this and has a prem blog or knows someone I would love to add you or them and if you could pass the word I would very much appriciate it!

Preemie Bloggers

Blog Designers Please

I was wondering if anyone could reccomend any blog designers out there.  I have another couple of blogs in the works and need someone to design them for me.  I sussed some out tonight but a couple of them had massive waiting lists or the lists were closed.

Can certainly tell ICLW is closed ..... its gone dead on here lol.