ICLW: April 2010- First Timer

Well this is my first time doing ICLW.........so welcome!!


A little about me is I am 39 and live in Australia, infact in one of the Black Saturday Bushfire effected area's.  Married to a special man and I say that because he puts up with me lol.  I also have a beautiful son whom survived being born at 25w.
I am infertile, I have PCOS and crushed tubes from scar tissue that has grown around my tubes thanks to a Dr that misdiagnosed my burst appendix when I was 16, so when we started trying to have children in my early 30's we had no idea why I couldn't conceive.  After a laperoscopy where they knicked my bowel so 6 days in hospital and a month off work it was found I needed IVF and would never conceive naturally.  My FS (fertility spec) told me he couldn't see why we couldn't conceive almost straight away.  First cycle a BFN, 2nd empty sac but readings kept rising, D&C at 7w on our first wedding anniversary. Third, 4th & 5th all BFN, 6th BFP waters broke at 14w 5d, induced at 16w 2d gave birth to our beautiful girl ~Chloe~. Seventh, 8th, 9th & 10th BFN and after that we changed FS to someome that would do something different and listen to what we had to say.... she got us PG first go.  Hospitalised at 18w due to bulging membranes, emergency stitch put in, stayed in hospital for 7w, waters leaking from 19 1/2w....great now I also have to contend with an incompetent cervix. 
After continually being told I will loose him, I will go into labour etc I held him in till I had cord prolapse at 25w and had an emergency c-section.  He spent 153 days in NICU & SCN, with collapsed lungs, pneumonia, infections, a machine breathing for him for 7 weeks and we were called in twice to say goodbye.  When he came home he was on oxygen but being the determined boy he was he stayed on it 9 months instead of the 2 yrs like his Dr's said.
So now he is 19m or 15 1/2m corrected and you would never know he is a preemie.  The 7 years of trying was so worth it, he is just a beautiful child that has alot of his great grandfathers facial expressions and heart (he never got to meet him).


We have 8 frostie bubs still sitting there and I am so itching to go back and try again but I know hubby isn't to fond about the whole idea as he said he could never go through the NICU experience again.  So what the future holds I have no idea but I am going to cherish every moment of my son growing up incase I never get to experience it again.  And if I do never get to experience it again then I have alot of emotions to start dealing with, including the mourning of 8 embrios. 


Infertility has left scars on my life so please don't think I am over it because I have a child.  My blog contains everyday ramblings, could be about M vomitting and me being a bad mother and letting him sleep in his smelly clothes then him paying me back, could be about my weightloss, or the new pup we have that pees and craps in the house after I have just taken him outside to go and even revisiting my past.


I am looking forward to hopefully meeting some new bloggers and would love to support those who are starting IVF or even those who have been ttcing for a long time, so come out, come out where ever you are!!