Struggling

I honestly thought I was doing ok, enjoying my break from ttcing, eating, drinking etc .............BUT...........tonight hubby got home and told me he saw the lady across the road getting out of her car and she was heavily pg. We don't even talk to them let alone knowing she was pg but for some dam reason it has gutted me. All of a sudden I was just so dam depressed and have been teary all night. I just keep thinking why don't I deserve a baby, what have I done so dam wrong??? I use to think that I was being punished for taking my hubby away from his first marriage, from his children and even though his marriage was over I always felt like I was being punished, that it was my fault, yet these people across the road are in exactly the same boat as us, he too is divorced and has 2 children and now she is pregnant, sooooooooo.......Am I too selfish, am I too bitchy, am I not good enough, won't I make a good mother, just tell me so I can deal with this better. To go through 3 yrs of IVF, needles apon needles, pills, creams, inserting things, blood tests, 8 transfers, one early miscarriage, one loss of a daughter at 16w............hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, maybe I haven't been through enough yet???