The Future of her baby
I just wanted to share something that happened to me last night at work and has left me very flat today. As a lot of you know I am a Manager with a big retailer here in
Australia its also a store in a very multi-cultural and poorer area. Last night we caught a girl who swapped a old pair of shoe’s for a new pair, then decided she was going to leave the store without paying for them. Anyway when we stopped her and took her to the security office she started crying and saying how sorry she was, that she had never done anything like this before etc, etc and then those words came out I’M PREGNANT and its like that was all that was going around in my head. She kept trying to talk to me while the security guards where talking to her crying saying sorry and to let her pay for it. We rung the police, they were flat out and wouldn’t be there for a couple of hours so I made the call to let her pay for the shoe’s……..yep you guessed it was $10 short, so had to ring who I guess was her partner who was waiting outside the store who I found out was escorted out of the store 30 mins before that for trying to wrap a car battery in 18th Birthday paper to give to his girlfriend without paying for it ………. Yep drug fucked to the eye balls. He had $10 on him so before we took her to the front they got her address ……….’I’m homeless, well I live in a caravan’.
We took her to the front, she showed me her pg tummy on the way out and one of my work mates said to her well take this as a fresh start. We then found out later that they got into a un registered car and are known by the police and they want to talk to them.
Today it just hit me, I just couldn’t stop thinking about the poor baby, that baby will never have a chance, it will never have a good chance with life with role models that it will have in it life. All day I just have been thinking what I could have said to her on how lucky she was to have that beautiful thing growing in her and then I would have jumped the table and smacked the crap out of her. I never thought anything would eat me up so much, its like my soul has been ripped out and it’s all hollow inside. I just want to protect it before its even born and yet again I ask why……….. why am I not allowed to have children??
I had a dream last night that I was pregnant, at full term and about to be induced. There was one lady ahead of me but she happened to be a girl I went to high school with and have not seen since then. I have never had a pregnancy dream before let alone one being at full term, I actually found myself waking up with a smile on my face and at peace well that was until I started thinking about last night.
Australia its also a store in a very multi-cultural and poorer area. Last night we caught a girl who swapped a old pair of shoe’s for a new pair, then decided she was going to leave the store without paying for them. Anyway when we stopped her and took her to the security office she started crying and saying how sorry she was, that she had never done anything like this before etc, etc and then those words came out I’M PREGNANT and its like that was all that was going around in my head. She kept trying to talk to me while the security guards where talking to her crying saying sorry and to let her pay for it. We rung the police, they were flat out and wouldn’t be there for a couple of hours so I made the call to let her pay for the shoe’s……..yep you guessed it was $10 short, so had to ring who I guess was her partner who was waiting outside the store who I found out was escorted out of the store 30 mins before that for trying to wrap a car battery in 18th Birthday paper to give to his girlfriend without paying for it ………. Yep drug fucked to the eye balls. He had $10 on him so before we took her to the front they got her address ……….’I’m homeless, well I live in a caravan’.
We took her to the front, she showed me her pg tummy on the way out and one of my work mates said to her well take this as a fresh start. We then found out later that they got into a un registered car and are known by the police and they want to talk to them.
Today it just hit me, I just couldn’t stop thinking about the poor baby, that baby will never have a chance, it will never have a good chance with life with role models that it will have in it life. All day I just have been thinking what I could have said to her on how lucky she was to have that beautiful thing growing in her and then I would have jumped the table and smacked the crap out of her. I never thought anything would eat me up so much, its like my soul has been ripped out and it’s all hollow inside. I just want to protect it before its even born and yet again I ask why……….. why am I not allowed to have children??
I had a dream last night that I was pregnant, at full term and about to be induced. There was one lady ahead of me but she happened to be a girl I went to high school with and have not seen since then. I have never had a pregnancy dream before let alone one being at full term, I actually found myself waking up with a smile on my face and at peace well that was until I started thinking about last night.
Labels: Archives
posted by LiL Moo & Mee at
April 07, 2007
8 Comments:
"I actually found myself waking up with a smile on my face and at peace"
Chicky try and get back to that place..... find that feeling and kept it close to your heart. Then when your feeling shitty and that life is crap... call on it to help you get through.
As for the slime at your work...... GRRRRRRRRRRR is all I can calmly say right now.
I love you. happy easter to You and Nath...
Remember easter is Bertie Beetle time in Sydney!
It's so unfair that people like that can have babys when we struggle so much. Hang in there my dear. I hope that your dreams come true very soon.
I see the same thing on a daily basis and it baffles me every time. Why them but not me? WHY?? It just hurts so much.
I've had that feeling, why them and not me. But never have I had it thrust into my face like you just have.
God i use to feel like that everyday I went into DOCS to pick up Foster kids! See all those crappy parents who would tell their kids 'they didn't want them this week but maybe next week I might want you'.
I have had a lot of dreams that I was pg. When I first lost Zak I would wake up after dreaming about being pg and it would take me a few minutes to remember I wasn't pg anymore. Sometimes I could feel him kicking, only it wasn't him kicking, it was just a twitch.
Life is really mean sometimes.
hugs
xxx
Sadly, thre is a lot of this going on, and we can only hope something happens to give this baby a better chance at life.
You just need to concentrate on your wonderful upcoming holiday, feeling refreshed and fit and ready for your next cycle though... xx
Oh my gosh! I would have just had a very hard time with this. It is so hard. I teach and see so many kids who are in BAD homes and totally deserve better. Why do they get babies and I don't? Why do I have to pay to have babies and they get them for free and treat them like sh*t! I don't understand. It is just UNFAIR!
I hope that dream comes true.
I'm sorry that you had to experience that. What a kick in the guts. Thinking of you and I hope your dream comes true too x
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