June 14, 2006

Tierd and scared


Just realised I haven't updated for a while thought I'd better let you know whats going on.
I'm entering the second week of the 2ww and am shitting myself, I can always handle the first week but am a mess the second. This is the week I could be employed as a toilet paper tester as that where I will spend most of my time, every pain, niggle feeling down below I will be off to the toilet. It is day 7 today and I am already feeling crampy, the heavy feeling. As this is my first natural FET I am relying on my body to do the right thing by me and not let AF arrive early. Even when I have been on the meds AF hasn't shown till day 10 so please take me further.
I don't know what it is but I am so tierd and not just physically, mentally again I am so struggling to get up in the mornings, my brain feels all over the place sometimes and I just want to rest. Of course IVF is not helping, especially being the first transfer since the loss of Chloe. I am not expecting alot from this cycle, I never do with FET's and I'm not sure because I have been doing this for so long or what but I think deep down inside there is a part of you that knows. Your told be positive, don't give up, dont be so negative but how can I not be we have been doing this for over 2 yrs now and its just so dam tiering and heart breaking to all concern......it can be a cruel process!!


I am just so scared that we are not going to be blessed again, I dont know if I could handle being childless, its something I have never thought about and really don't want to either.

2 Comments:

Blogger Mary Ellen and Steve said...

The 2ww is so damn hard. Hang in there. Hopefully you will have some good news soon. Hugs!

June 15, 2006 11:03 am  
Blogger Sparkle said...

Love the cute pic!

More than half way there, so don't panic.

I know that I don't want to be childless - I think that's what drives me on. Once I knew that, I knew I could start making decisions.

Take care.

June 16, 2006 4:33 pm  

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