The Brain.........
Why does your brain keep thinking, why does it think about things you don’t want to, why can you be happy one minute and then the next your brain turns on and bang your in tears.
I have always had a rule in this house and that’s never to have any baby stuff in the house, nothing at all, even when I was pg I remember my hubby wanting to start buying nappies at 13w and there was no way they were coming into the house, even my mum gave me some singlets and I was terrified to have them here, infact it was only a month ago I found them sitting on the top shelf of my wardrobe wondering why I let them stay there. I have a pram and bouncer that I bought before I found out we couldn’t conceive naturally, they were soon shipped out into the garage and there they have stayed collecting A LOT of dust. I’m not sure but maybe deep down my soul knew that something was going to happen or maybe it was a protection barrier for myself. I am just so scared for all these women that as soon as they find themselves pg are out buying the nursery and even more devastated when 2 of my friends have lost their babies under 12w and can’t deal the nurseries they have set up.
I have started reading a book called The Happiness Trap, stop struggling, start Living - Dr Russ Harris. I need some bounce back into my life, I have never been a reader infact unless the first page interests me it's over lol. Honestly I am not sure if this is going to help at all but it can't hurt .... can it?? I need to stop being so miserable. depressed and feeling sorry for myself so excuse me if I lapse every once and a while. I have also started reading up again on any information I can find on PPROM (Preterm Premature rupture of Membranes) - rupture or tear in the membranes before 37 weeks. PROM/PPROM is thought largely to be caused by an infection in the uterus or fetal membranes. Why these infections occur is not completely understood. Risk factors include smoking, and some vaginal infections. Also multiple gestations (twins, triplets, etc.) and women who have had PROM/PPROM before. Some women who have had UTI’s have also encountered PPROM and yep that was me, I also believe the stress at work had a lot to do with it too , but I didn't have a incomp cervix as I was told I would of gone into labour almost straight away and when the ultra sound after they burst my cervix with shut tight. But I will never know what caused it or can anyone give me a answer as its something that is just not known and in this day and age I don’t know why. My mum once said you think with all this technology that they would of come up with a patch for it. If anyone knows of any books or info on it I would love to hear about it.
So if I post abit about my book I am reading and the info I find I really hope I don’t bore you.
Well it looks like the house will be going on the market soon, we have been working on it for the past couple of months and it looks like we're coming to the end of the fixing. DH is going to see a real estate agent on Sat to get someone around to give us a price and hopefully get things going, but don't worry we wont go with the first agent. It makes me happy to think that the next phase of our life or our new begining maybe just around the corner.
Labels: Archives
posted by LiL Moo & Mee at
May 07, 2007
5 Comments:
Hopefully both books will prove worth reading. Do give a review of that first book. I'm a bit sceptic of books that promise the road to happiness in just a few steps, but one can always use a good tip to give your mood a boost.
Shazz,
Your words, filled with so much wisdom are soooooooooo true - why is it that in the blink of an eye our whole being can be on a different plane.
As for PPROM, I have done a far bit of reading relating to incompetant cervix and the infection that they refer too Corioamnionitis ( infection of the layers of the uterus and amnotic sac) on the web - because as you know this was what happened to us in addition to the fibroid issue. There's lots out there, you just have to wade through it. Unfortunately though, from my experience there aren't any "conclusive" answers nor solutions to the problem other than the insertion of a cerclage at around the 13/14 week mark. I have already had this conversation with my OBGYN and this is our intention if/ or when we are fortunate to become pregnant again. I too can not help but think that my increased stress at work during this time was a HUGH factor and will be definately factoring this into any decisions to be made at the time. One thing is for sure though - I will give up teaching once it is determined that any pregnancy achieved is a viable one. To my sister in arms, take care and remember that I am always thinking of you. Good luck with ALL your endevours and as one venturing into a new phase of life to another i wish you all the best. Love Marcie X
I am so thrilled to hear such positivity in this post! I hope the book helps you find what you need. I have another friend struggling with infertility and the loss of a couple of babies, and she is reading 'The Secret' and highly recommends it..might be worth looking at too??!!
Yay for the house finally going on the market soon...cheers to the new and wonderful life you are about to embark on!
I understand so much about not having anything in the house. I knew it wasn't really rational at the time, but I think it is a way to try to protect ourselves--as if anything can make the blow of losing a child any easier. I, too, agree that people should wait when setting up a nursery. That would have killed me, if I had to take all that stuff down too.
Sometimes i wish i just didn't have a brain. Ha ha Some of you might say I don't! lol
I hope the book helps.
Good luck with the house.
Hugs
xxx
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