Floating
Well I'm floating at the moment and I can't explain what I mean by that either, its sort of like being in limbo. I supose to be holding my little girl in less than 4 weeks time but I know I wont be.
My head just keeps going around and around and its like it doesn't want to let anything out, getting fuller and fuller waiting for the almightly BANG. I really thought that I let it out the other night after my failed cycle but no it builds up yet again.
We are currently thinking of things to do for Chloe's due date, we have a few idea's but not a hundred percent on what to do. I know what I want to do and thats hold her for the rest of her life and never let her go. I am just so scared we will never have a child, that I will never experience pregnancy again and carry it to full term. There are so many emotions flying around and I can't put it into words, I really can't.
Can someone slow it down I want to get of for a while, just let me become a mummy, just once thats all I ask for.
posted by LiL Moo & Mee at
June 26, 2006
9 Comments:
Words cannot say how sorry I am for your loss and what you must be going through. It is so hard to live in this unknown place...not knowing if we will ever be mothers or how all of this is going to turn out for us. I struggle with this every single day myself. I'll be thinking of you and hoping that the days get easier for you.
Hugs.
I understand you completely...The one thing that helped me focus and remember was the tiny tree I bought in memorium for the little girl I was supposed to have. I figured if I can't nuture my baby, I'll nuture this tree. It just gives me something concrete to remember her. It certainly doesn't make all the evils in the world go away, but it heals the soul a tiny bit. I hope you find some peace for you and Chloe.
I know where you're at babe, it's almost like you just want to step back and watch everyone else but not participate in the world....
Sending you lots of hugs x
I feel all your same thoughts and fears. I don't have any answers I just hope that your prayers to be a mom will be answered very soon. I am so sorry for your loss and all of your pain.
I am so sorry for your loss and all that you have had to go through. It is not fair. I hope that you will be a mommy very soon. I'll be thinking of you.
I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what that must be like. I hope that you will be a mommy again soon. Hugs.
I know that this is an extremely difficult time for you, and I totally can understand the feelings you have-the fear, the uncertainty, the grief. Please know that I'm thinking of you and saying a prayer that you find the peace and strength you need right now.
Hugs to you dear Shazz, and know that I'm thinking of you.
I am thinking of you and praying for you to have strength to get through this. I have been there and I know how much it sucks. (((hugs)))
So sorry... sending you a hug
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