I've been having some good days lately and I'm scared of that, it makes me feel like I'm forgetting Chloe. Then today one of my staff wanted to speak to me, she didn't know how to tell me, but she was 2 months pregnant and was scared to tell me. I was waiting for this, whether it be her or someone else but I knew it would come.

I have my appointment with my IVF Dr on Friday to see where to from here and to start that shitty IVF roller coaster again. The thought of it all makes me so tierd, I mean it took me 2 yrs of ivf to fall pregnant this time I don't think I could wait that long again. The blood tests, the tablets, the failed cycles and my poor body not to mention my broken heart everytime we have a failed cycle. Honestly I can understand why women just keep going with this shit, you keep fighting and fighting for something you just want so badly, something to hold and to have as your own.