Feb 26th 2006

On Friday we received the necklace I ordered from Canada with Chloe's name and how long we had her for on one heart and on another are 2 little footprints with little coloured bead for Feb. Its beautiful and now she can be with me all the time.

I thought I was having a good day today, but as the afternoon went on my mood dropped and I shed a few tears. I'm trying to hide it from hubby but he knows when I'm doing it and he just comes over and hugs me. The days are getting slightly easier but I still feel like my heart has been ripped out never to be replaced again........Chloe would be 19 weeks today.
I just dont understand why this has all happened and I know we never will know and I pray that it will never happen again. I can't look at a pregnant woman without tearing or hiding and I feel like every Ad on tv at the moment has a pregnant woman or baby on it. I go back to work next week and am so scared, I know they will all be there for me but I just want to hide and to be honest would just prefer not to go back and start somewhere fresh, but I know I have to get back into life.

I'm going to go to bed and will post more tomorrow.